JILL BELLYDANCER

This is the best description of hypocrisy - A person who engages in the same behaviors he condemns others for.

I always call a spade a spade. I don’t resort to cheap insults, or unfair comparison, although i have been accused of doing just that.  I try to fix problems, to end issues, to engage in dialogue. There are people i can not work with, and i have told them such. That’s how frank and true i am. I have to be true to myself.  If i want to keep my sanity.

I am not a hypocrite, i can not say something bad about someone and act so nice to them when i see them, if and when i don’t like you, you will know. Yes, I try to be Ms. Congeniality, I smile at everyone, I want to be liked, i may not be perfect but i am not a hypocrite.

If a friend tells me something about another person, trusting me with her feelings, i have to honor that trust by not repeating what she said in a moment of emotional weakness, especially God forbid, inventing insulting remarks that are sure to start a fight. I will not join the battle i am not even involved in, yes, maybe i know the details, but it is not my war to fight. I am betraying my friend’s trust if i turn around and tell the other person what was said. Unless you were not friends to begin with. I must not be a good judge of character.

I have looked at hypocrisy in the eye and said no. I will not have it.

Flashback to January 10, 2011 - Kalibo / Jill, Steve, KB and Zane in Kb’s Hotel Room

The Goddesses of Bellydance celebrated Louise’s wedding last January 8, 2011 in Boracay. Our flight back to Manila was cancelled, therefore we had no choice but to stay the night in Kalibo because of bad weather. We were supposed to have brainstorm sessions for the BELLYFEST 2011 when we arrive in Manila, but we took the opportunity that was presented to us.

We needed a storyline for this year’s Bellyfest, and as last year’s was successful, i was under a lot of stress to top it. So, this is what happened - We just threw ideas in the air, some we caught, some we just let pass and dissolve into thin air. We liked the fairy tales concept so we stuck to that.

We really liked Snow White (but we couldn’t think of a twist, we were thinking of making her a beautiful but very mean person, but we couldn’t find a good ending to that, so that was scrapped)…. We thought Cinderella’s stepmom could be in love with the Prince that’s why she was so mean to Cinderella, but we couldn’t make it work…  We wanted Little Mermaid to be a spoiled brat and ask for things from Land like a pony, a bicycle, etc but again we rejected it. We wanted Sleeping Beauty to come in too, but she just slept and wasn’t so strong a character to portray.We kept on laughing and laughing as we threw, rejected, kept, and twisted different ideas!

I am very thankful to have had Steve, KB, and Zane’s help for conceptualizing the show. It truly was a great theme, everybody could identify with it, and it was so fun to experiment with the costumes And of course, thank you to the dancers who brought the characters to life, Sundee as Cinderella, Nilda as Red Riding Hood, Gemma as Stepmother, Eloisa as the Witch and Crystal as the Little Mermaid.

needless to say, I am under a lot of stress for BELLYFEST 2012

It’s been two weeks after the Bellyfest 2011, and these last two weeks have been a period of  rest, inspiration, family bonding, self-realization, self-assessment, sadness, happiness, just a whole gamut of emotions and experiences, i must say! Random, off the top of my head, here are the following explanations of this fiesta of feelings that now define ME:

Rest - Boracay vacation/got free tickets when they bumped us off last Jan during Louise’s wedding in Boracay/4 days of not dancing is a LONG time for me/ Jill’s stomach was happy indeed with all the food!

Inspiration - Alisha Lee, Bellyfest 2011 special guest, told me to never neglect my own progress. Practice makes perfect, and as excellent a dancer as she is, she still finds time to rehearse on her own. I want to be like her when i grow up, the problem is, I’m older than her :-p

Family bonding - i feel sad for those OFW who will not have the chance to play with their kids… when i hear my son say something witty that makes me laugh, i realize how lucky i am to be able to experience this. When he gets scared of something on the TV, and he hides behind me, i tell him to be brave, but secretly, i’m enjoying the feeling that he thinks I can save him from all harm!

Self-realization and self-assessment - I have realized that i have to find the energy to do the things i have to do. It may come as a surprise to my students that i am a weakling, i get tired easily, i get back pains very often (scoliosis) and i guess i just like to rest a lot (hahaha!) As i started dancing professionally 18 years back, starting with jazz, hiphop, ballroom, etc, i’d like to believe that it’s time for me to semi-retire. But after having talks with Alisha, i realized that i should always progress, move forward, challenge myself, and dance dance dance! Since the start of the BELLYFEST 5 years ago, i have not focused on myself, i have not danced a solo, i did not think it was important. I thought i should stay in the background and prioritize logistics. But then again, i have to be a better me as each year passes, and i will never neglect me ever again

Sadness -Betrayal saddens me. Enough said.I need to be a better judge of character.

Happiness - I count my blessings a lot. Thank you Lord for continually giving me these opportunities. For my loyal students, for my colleagues who respect me. For the GOB for loving me like a sister. For my family for being there for me. For all the people around me who truly are happy for me. Thank you!

Heard on *Top Chefs Just Desserts* -

“When you’re talented, you can play fair and still come out on top”

This was in response to a sabotage by a fellow contestant, she was accusing another chef of stealing her ingredients. That statement made me nod in agreement.

I have always believed in investing in yourself, working hard, backing up your talents with solid credentials, and then everything will follow.

If you spend your energy working on yourself, you will have less time to dwell on your hurts, people who have seemingly offended you, in essence, all negativity will diminish if you think positively. Shift your perspective and everything changes.

I have been accused of a lot of things. I will not even try to change their minds because their minds are made up. They believe what they want to believe. Instead, i will pursue my dreams, prioritize the people who believe in me, and work harder.

Even as i am writing this post, i am aware to keep my feelings at bay. I do not condone emotional outbursts, writing angry and hurtful remarks, calling people names, and defaming people thru the internet. That is very unfair as the person in question can not defend themselves. In the end, the only thing we have is our reputation. And we all try our best to keep it untainted, so please, be careful about what you post on social networking sites.

I Think Positive, I say, Thank You for inspiring me to become a stronger person!

Just tonight, at church, i saw a little boy with his vendor parents. A boy, no more than 3 years old, although physically he looked like he is only one year old. He was wearing a yellow t-shirt, no briefs, no shorts, no slippers.. He was sitting on pavement, with nothing to protect his private parts, his eyes blank, he was like an adult in a child’s body! He does not know that at his age, he should be playing with toys, that he should have slippers, briefs, shorts, a pillow and blanket to help him fall asleep! I blame the parents for not being responsible parents, please don’t keep procreating if you can’t take care of your kids! It really broke my heart seeing the little kid with his blank stares.

I was with my husband and son (6 years old). I could not help but tell my son that we should choose some old toys, slippers and  clothes of his to give this poor little boy.  We went home to get it and we came back in 15 minutes. It did not make me feel better, it was such a small thing to do, but at least the little boy will now have a few clothes to wear.

Sometimes, when driving, you also see beggars in pairs, an able bodied male/female and an old man/woman. My initial reaction is to feel pity for the elderly, and then it turns to rage for the younger person guiding the elderly to go from car to car, evoking pity from people just so they can earn some money. This is all part of a syndicate’s scheme to earn, i am aware and i condemn (such a strong word, i know, but come on, these elderly have to walk the whole day, sometimes in the rain, when they should be resting during their twilight years) the leaders of these syndicates!

SHAME ON YOU PEOPLE!

Oh,, how i love to read books! I can spend countless hours in a bookstore! I love the smell of paper, so i’ll never get myself a Kindle! Authors i like are:

Paolo Coelho - he writes so well, like he’s just talking to you, a bit philosophical but it makes you think, makes you go “i’ve felt that too!”

Stephen King - he is a genius, and i think no one can top him! He can really pull you in, give you nightmares, make you believe that the impossible tale he is spinning can actually happen!

Jefery Deaver - He writes very exciting books! Easy to read, and full of twists and turn!

James Frey - have only read one book of his (A Million Little Pieces) , but that’s enough for me to tell you that he is a very good writer! I cried a lot reading that book, finished it in two days, i think!

Wally Lamb - You should read “She’s Come Undone” Very beautiful, you wouldn’t think the book is written by a male author!

Michael Crichton - Scientific stuff  but interesting! The stories can actually happen in real life!

Sophie Kinsella - Love the Shopaholic series! Love Becky Bloomwood actually

But hey, how come most of the authors i like are males? Oh no! I am a firm believer in the power of Women! Hmm.. i should look around and try to read some female authors now! The only problem with reading books is that it gives you a sense of guilt when you spend time reading because there are a lot more other things you can be doing! But i quiet that voice, i say”this is fine, i am using my brain, i am becoming a better me, a smarter me”

I am Jill Ngo, and i am a shopaholic! I have come to terms with this aspect of my personality, case in point, i have been known to get the same-style tshirt from Terranova in 6 different colors at one time if the style really speaks to me. It is the style i am buying, not exactly the color, so can you blame me?

As a very petite lady, if and when i see an XS, oh Lord, i just have to purchase it! It is very seldom that i find XS in any store so i choose to believe that that garment is specially waiting for me to own it, yes!

I normally get back aches when i have to walk a long way because of my scoliosis, but when i am out shopping, suddenly, i can walk and walk and walk and buy!

Of course there is the guilt that follows the ecstacy of having bought a new dress or shirt (my fave purchases), but it does give me new-found energy the next coming days when i get to wear my newly-coveted items, so that is how i console myself. If it makes you happy and you can afford it, go and buy it! Money is meant to be spent and as long as you use what you buy, it is worth it.

My advice is to wear your new clothes the next coming weeks, so that you will never fall into the guilt-trap of wasting money.  I list down what i just bought and wear them in succession until they have all been Jill-ized. Recently, i bought a few outfits at Zara and Mango and i am happy, i have worn these new clothes already so it’s all worth it!

I had an epiphany about dance today.

Much like driving, we do not just LEARN to drive a car, but rather we PRACTICE driving so we can get better at it.  I remember when i first learned how to drive, i wanted to give up the first few times i tried it, the side mirrors didn’t help, the rear view mirror couldn’t help me any, i felt like it was hopeless! I thought about just relying on our family driver (but you do get guilty when you have  to eat out and stay out late with friends and you find the driver asleep just waiting for you;  to think his family is also waiting for him to get home) , or just commuting to and fro forever.  But i kept at it, determined to drive my way to liberty and freedom I had a few mishaps, bumped a few cars (they were actually parked yes, i was that bad a driver, but look at me now, “Look ma, no hands!!”) Good things come to those who practice, and might i add, persevere…

With regards to my dance epiphany, i taught a bellydance class today, had a few new comers, and i said the customary “Don’t be too hard on yourself, it will be awkward the first time, etc.” and hoped that they would believe.  As a teacher, i have had a few students give up on themselves, it might be overly dramatic if i tell you that i can tell the exact moment that a student (figuratively-speaking) lets go of the guiding hand that i offer as we go through the movements together in class, but i really have that ability! Probably, i can read faces and body language very well and am very sensitive to how people behave in a group setting. (On a side note, i wanted to take Psychology in school as my major, but i took up Mass Com instead) It affects me when my students give up, and so all i can do is to keep reminding them to keep at it, practice and persevere!

Some photos of me taken by my husband!

Positive thinking works, i get it, and i try to always think positive thoughts, but dont you just hate it when (or maybe it’s just me so to rephrase that, I just hate it when:
1. A client who wants to get me/my group tries to convince me that it is in my best interest to accept his/her measly unreasonable offer of a talent fee because “you know,  instead of sitting around doing nothing, you have something to do” Please do not assume that i would not appreciate having time to rest.

2.   I am scheduling a meeting or a get-together with individuals who give me this answer “Right now, that date looks good” You mean you’ll cancel on me if something better comes up?

3.  Students taking my pilates class talk amongst themselves seemingly oblivious of the other people taking the class with them.   Uhm, need i say that that is inconsiderate?

4.  You might disagree with me, but i personally think it is more polite to text when asking for a quotation than calling only because you give me time to think and i can then respond when i am ready.  I try not to give out a rate until i am sure about the workload and what is required of me.  And because of the number of inquiries i receive in a week, texting helps me keep track of what the agreed rate is.

5.  People who greet me in public who do not give me any helpful hints of where we met before, even though my face is very blank and just smiling at them with no recognition whatsoever.  It is very awkward, so please introduce yourself I teach at a lot of gyms, so i forget where i met you, sorry in advance, peace!

6.  I am still eating at a restaurant and the staff start sweeping the floor to prepare for closing down the restaurant. Aachooo! Might just be in my head but when i see someone sweeping floors, i visualize all the dust getting swirled and whirled in the air and entering my airway…..