JILL BELLYDANCER

Just tonight, at church, i saw a little boy with his vendor parents. A boy, no more than 3 years old, although physically he looked like he is only one year old. He was wearing a yellow t-shirt, no briefs, no shorts, no slippers.. He was sitting on pavement, with nothing to protect his private parts, his eyes blank, he was like an adult in a child’s body! He does not know that at his age, he should be playing with toys, that he should have slippers, briefs, shorts, a pillow and blanket to help him fall asleep! I blame the parents for not being responsible parents, please don’t keep procreating if you can’t take care of your kids! It really broke my heart seeing the little kid with his blank stares.

I was with my husband and son (6 years old). I could not help but tell my son that we should choose some old toys, slippers and  clothes of his to give this poor little boy.  We went home to get it and we came back in 15 minutes. It did not make me feel better, it was such a small thing to do, but at least the little boy will now have a few clothes to wear.

Sometimes, when driving, you also see beggars in pairs, an able bodied male/female and an old man/woman. My initial reaction is to feel pity for the elderly, and then it turns to rage for the younger person guiding the elderly to go from car to car, evoking pity from people just so they can earn some money. This is all part of a syndicate’s scheme to earn, i am aware and i condemn (such a strong word, i know, but come on, these elderly have to walk the whole day, sometimes in the rain, when they should be resting during their twilight years) the leaders of these syndicates!

SHAME ON YOU PEOPLE!

Oh,, how i love to read books! I can spend countless hours in a bookstore! I love the smell of paper, so i’ll never get myself a Kindle! Authors i like are:

Paolo Coelho – he writes so well, like he’s just talking to you, a bit philosophical but it makes you think, makes you go “i’ve felt that too!”

Stephen King – he is a genius, and i think no one can top him! He can really pull you in, give you nightmares, make you believe that the impossible tale he is spinning can actually happen!

Jefery Deaver – He writes very exciting books! Easy to read, and full of twists and turn!

James Frey – have only read one book of his (A Million Little Pieces) , but that’s enough for me to tell you that he is a very good writer! I cried a lot reading that book, finished it in two days, i think!

Wally Lamb – You should read “She’s Come Undone” Very beautiful, you wouldn’t think the book is written by a male author!

Michael Crichton – Scientific stuff  but interesting! The stories can actually happen in real life!

Sophie Kinsella – Love the Shopaholic series! Love Becky Bloomwood actually

But hey, how come most of the authors i like are males? Oh no! I am a firm believer in the power of Women! Hmm.. i should look around and try to read some female authors now! The only problem with reading books is that it gives you a sense of guilt when you spend time reading because there are a lot more other things you can be doing! But i quiet that voice, i say”this is fine, i am using my brain, i am becoming a better me, a smarter me”

I am Jill Ngo, and i am a shopaholic! I have come to terms with this aspect of my personality, case in point, i have been known to get the same-style tshirt from Terranova in 6 different colors at one time if the style really speaks to me. It is the style i am buying, not exactly the color, so can you blame me?

As a very petite lady, if and when i see an XS, oh Lord, i just have to purchase it! It is very seldom that i find XS in any store so i choose to believe that that garment is specially waiting for me to own it, yes!

I normally get back aches when i have to walk a long way because of my scoliosis, but when i am out shopping, suddenly, i can walk and walk and walk and buy!

Of course there is the guilt that follows the ecstacy of having bought a new dress or shirt (my fave purchases), but it does give me new-found energy the next coming days when i get to wear my newly-coveted items, so that is how i console myself. If it makes you happy and you can afford it, go and buy it! Money is meant to be spent and as long as you use what you buy, it is worth it.

My advice is to wear your new clothes the next coming weeks, so that you will never fall into the guilt-trap of wasting money.  I list down what i just bought and wear them in succession until they have all been Jill-ized. Recently, i bought a few outfits at Zara and Mango and i am happy, i have worn these new clothes already so it’s all worth it!

I had an epiphany about dance today.

Much like driving, we do not just LEARN to drive a car, but rather we PRACTICE driving so we can get better at it.  I remember when i first learned how to drive, i wanted to give up the first few times i tried it, the side mirrors didn’t help, the rear view mirror couldn’t help me any, i felt like it was hopeless! I thought about just relying on our family driver (but you do get guilty when you have  to eat out and stay out late with friends and you find the driver asleep just waiting for you;  to think his family is also waiting for him to get home) , or just commuting to and fro forever.  But i kept at it, determined to drive my way to liberty and freedom I had a few mishaps, bumped a few cars (they were actually parked yes, i was that bad a driver, but look at me now, “Look ma, no hands!!”) Good things come to those who practice, and might i add, persevere…

With regards to my dance epiphany, i taught a bellydance class today, had a few new comers, and i said the customary “Don’t be too hard on yourself, it will be awkward the first time, etc.” and hoped that they would believe.  As a teacher, i have had a few students give up on themselves, it might be overly dramatic if i tell you that i can tell the exact moment that a student (figuratively-speaking) lets go of the guiding hand that i offer as we go through the movements together in class, but i really have that ability! Probably, i can read faces and body language very well and am very sensitive to how people behave in a group setting. (On a side note, i wanted to take Psychology in school as my major, but i took up Mass Com instead) It affects me when my students give up, and so all i can do is to keep reminding them to keep at it, practice and persevere!

Some photos of me taken by my husband!

Positive thinking works, i get it, and i try to always think positive thoughts, but dont you just hate it when (or maybe it’s just me so to rephrase that, I just hate it when:
1. A client who wants to get me/my group tries to convince me that it is in my best interest to accept his/her measly unreasonable offer of a talent fee because “you know,  instead of sitting around doing nothing, you have something to do” Please do not assume that i would not appreciate having time to rest.

2.   I am scheduling a meeting or a get-together with individuals who give me this answer “Right now, that date looks good” You mean you’ll cancel on me if something better comes up?

3.  Students taking my pilates class talk amongst themselves seemingly oblivious of the other people taking the class with them.   Uhm, need i say that that is inconsiderate?

4.  You might disagree with me, but i personally think it is more polite to text when asking for a quotation than calling only because you give me time to think and i can then respond when i am ready.  I try not to give out a rate until i am sure about the workload and what is required of me.  And because of the number of inquiries i receive in a week, texting helps me keep track of what the agreed rate is.

5.  People who greet me in public who do not give me any helpful hints of where we met before, even though my face is very blank and just smiling at them with no recognition whatsoever.  It is very awkward, so please introduce yourself I teach at a lot of gyms, so i forget where i met you, sorry in advance, peace!

6.  I am still eating at a restaurant and the staff start sweeping the floor to prepare for closing down the restaurant. Aachooo! Might just be in my head but when i see someone sweeping floors, i visualize all the dust getting swirled and whirled in the air and entering my airway…..

The Goddesses of Bellydance with Rachel

My group, the Goddesses of Bellydance and I performed at Turkce Yer Bar and Restaurant (35 Timog St. QC) last March 19, 2010.  I received  great feedback from Rachel and I would like to share her kind words for me. Thanks, Rachel and photographer Dok Ed!

Visit her site here :  http://www.rachelkabigting.com/?p=466

I would like to start listing down these moments in my life that are worth taking note of, some of these are not something to be proud of, but they have shaped me well into being the person that i am today, amen!

1. I have been to Alaska, South Africa, Australia, Switzerland, Austria, Italy, France, New Zealand, USA,Vietnam, Singapore, Malaysia, Canada, London, Hawaii (my favorite place in the world

2. I have danced for Eat Bulaga, GMA Supershow, Show and Tell, Eezy Dancing, Keep on Dancing, Asap, Sop, while i was a member of Whiplash and Bodytalk How old am I? i guess you can deduce….

3.  Throughout my 17 years of dance career as a professional, i can’t forget this costume-  I had to dance wearing shards of glass (real sharp, mind you) glued onto a unitard, i couldn’t sit down to rest!!  It was like carrying  load 50 pounds total! I forget what show it was but it must have been the Araw Awards at the CCP

4.  I was one of the labada girls holding a bareta (long bar of laundry soap) for a Mr. Clean commercial. We shot it along hilly grasslands, forgot the venue, but there were like 30 dancers, all professional, holding palangganas, baretas (yey), white shirts, etc. Ready, sing “Mr. Clean, mahal ka namin.. Dulot mo, labadami, labango, labalinis din!!”

5.  During a Shell Diesoline Ultra product launch in the provinces, we had to dance atop a truck, a rolling stage i guess, and it was inclined. Oh God! Finding your balance while dancing your heart out was the name of the game!

6.  I had the chance to meet these actors during provincial tours mga 1996 i think, when they were not yet that famous! Judy Ann Santos, Rica Peralejo, Roselle Nava, Beth Tamayo, Angelu de leon, Donita Rose, Dale Villar (where is he now?)

7.  I have had clients ask me to send them exotic dancers, needless to say, i gave them a piece of my mind

8.  I have had encounters with really UNPROFESSIONAL marketing agents, imagine, walking out on me at a meeting just because we couldn’t see eye to eye, how immature can you be? Did not receive any “thank you for your time, etc” talk when i had to be the one to go to their office for that 1st meeting! Really shocking! On my journal, the heading for that day was, “NIGHTMARE MEETING!”

9.  I have been betrayed maybe, uhm, give or take 4 times?  Good thing each new time it happens, it hurts me less and less.  I am very sensitive and attuned to people’s motives and intentions, but i guess sometimes,  i am not a good judge of character….

10.  I have been on a 6-seater plane, feels like a car driving off into the clouds

11.  I have  travelled to far-off places like Europe alone, sleep in  hotel rooms alone, eat my meals alone and drive abroad. I do have fears, but i have learned not to listen

I am inspired! Suddenly, my teaching career has brought meaning to my life!! Those who have worked with me know that i am a perfectionist, sometimes to a fault. I can be abrasive and relentless when i have a vision, and i will stop at nothing to get it…

Let’s just say that i have gained some detractors because not all dancers  i have worked with see the importance of seamless synchronicity in a choreography.  To be honest, at times I want to shut down/off my need for uniformity and aesthetic symmetry when i preview the dance I am creating during rehearsals, i tell myself to just let it be, that it’s ok, that the audience won’t notice that one arm is out of sync with the rest anyway, BUT I CAN NOT SHUT IT OFF!!

Then one day, I had a realization! It can be done! As long as some of my loyal students trust me, as long as they believe in me, and they respect my artistic inputs with regards their technique and executing the dance, then it can be done!

Respect begets respect. You respect me as a choreographer, i’ll definitely respect you as a dancer. I believe that i am a perfectionist because I know that people can do more, that people can go beyond what they think they can do…

Every week, i mentor these 8 special ladies i call the “Goblins”. With them with me, who can be against me? They lend to me their strength when i teach, i now have a purpose,  and they helped me gain more  confidence in this bellydance community in the Philippines.  Students can be loyal, they can love you, they can be your friends.

We hope to change ourselves to become better dancers and artists one synchronized step at at time. It is hard, yes, to dance as one, performing  the exact same movements though we are different dancers.  But if you will it to happen, it will happen. 

I love you, my goblins!